7 Things to De-Normalize in Your Home

As adults whose lives keep life-ing, we can get so used to how things are in our homes that we often don’t even notice when something is off.

Or, worse, we know things have gone astray, but we feel clueless as to how to regroup or reset.

Overwhelm becomes a baseline, closets become archives, and shopping habits masquerade as savings. But just because something is common doesn’t mean it’s normal.

No one WANTS to feel like they’re drowning in clutter, but so much of the problem is about mindset. When we operate our lives and home from scarcity mindset, that worrying “I don’t have enough,” it’s no surprise we have homes that look like tornadoes passed through. And it’s consistently proven by research that clutter increases our cortisol levels, the stress hormone.

Let’s talk about a few things it’s time to de-normalize in your home—for the sake of you (and your family’s)

• sanity

• space

• peace

1. Chronic Overwhelm

Feeling constantly buried by your stuff is a red flag. Your home should be a place of comfort and clarity, not chaos and guilt. People say to me on the discovery call, “I want to burn it all down and start fresh,” or “I just want to run away to another country and leave all of this behind.” If you're looking around and feeling defeated, it's likely not because you’re lazy or disorganized—you simply have too much stuff. Decluttering and simplifying isn't just about aesthetics—it's about reclaiming your mental space.

Normalize this instead: Spaces that are easy for the whole family to maintain, even on your busiest days or after vacation or sickness

2. Using Your Home as a Storage Facility

Your home is not a holding pen for other people’s belongings. It’s not your job to store your adult children’s furniture, your cousin’s boxes from college, your former roommate’s forgotten treasures, or your sister-in-law’s someday-maybe baby gear. Every item you’re “just holding onto” takes up your physical and emotional space. And it adds to your mental load, which is the last thing you need!

Add to that, respectfully, your sister-in-law might not want your hand me downs, but then feels guilty saying no and takes on the burden of deciding what to do with it. Don’t let guilt, shame, or fear disrupt your decision making; let it go to someone who needs it now and/or give the person an expiration date for picking up their items.

Normalize this instead: Boundaries that protect your space and peace of mind.

3. “Saving Money” by Stockpiling

Buying in bulk can be a smart strategy—but only if you actually use the items and have the space to store them without stress. Otherwise, it's just spending disguised as saving. Ten years' worth of paper towels crammed into every available nook is not a win.

And buyer beware on those auto-subscribe savings. I had a client who did the “subscribe and save” on kitty litter, and I counted eight unopened boxes—which took up a lot of real estate on the shelf. I suggested this family take a few minutes to pause their subscription, but returned a month later and saw two more on the ground in front of the shelf.

Normalize this instead: Buying what you need, when you need it—and trusting that you'll always be able to get more later. Take a few minutes to shop from home first, check with your spouse before buying that “on sale” item (“No, Babe, we already have two unopened NyQuil”), and keep a shared list of needs to prevent overspending!

4. Keeping Things “Just in Case”

We all have a junk drawer—or five—full of cords, buttons, manuals, and parts to… something? I also see this show up in peoples’ homes and the giveaway is when my clients say, “But it’s a perfectly good…” Hanging onto random items just in case keeps your home cluttered and your mind distracted. The someday you’re preparing for rarely comes. And worst case, it does, but you are resourceful and can make it work.

Normalize this instead: Trusting yourself to figure it out when you need to—and letting go of the rest. There’s joy in asking your neighbor, receiving a gift from your local Buy Nothing page, or using secondhand.

5. Spaces You Can’t Use

As a certified professional organizer who’s been in hundreds of homes, I can tell you that even the tidiest home has an overflowing junk drawer, or a spare bedroom that’s the catchall, a closet where items spill out when you open the door, or a garage that can’t fit a car. When spaces become unusable, it’s a sign something’s off. You’re paying for square footage, so use it with intention.

Normalize this instead: Every room and surface serves a purpose you actually care about and that means something to your family in this current season of life. Emphasis on current season.

6. Living Around Clutter You Don’t Even See Anymore

We all have clutter blind spots—items that have been sitting in the same spot for so long they become part of the scenery. The decor piece you’ve stopped liking, the pile of papers on the dining table, the basket of “returns” that never got returned. This also shows up for some as boxes that were never unpacked, or “DOOM” bins you created in a frenzy before guests arrived, that now line the perimeter.

Normalize this instead: Regular check-ins with your space. What’s still serving you? What’s just taking up room? And definitely notice when you not only dislike an item, but feel an INTENSE negative feeling: time to say goodbye.

Need help with those infamous doom bags? Read this blog.

7. Aspirational Clutter

It can be radically liberating to let go of what “the best version of yourself” had bought (or been gifted) with the purest intentions—here’s some recent real-life examples from my clients:

• the treadmill in your bedroom that collects junk and limits the walkway

• the trendy educational toy that you saw on so many Instagram pics that your kids never touch

• the fancy pasta maker that’s never been opened even though it was so expensive

• the bougie art supplies covered in dust that are “just the absolute BEST” should you ever decide to use them

• the pre-baby clothes that are…multiple sizes smaller than you are now, “but they’re my inspiration clothes”

Here’s a personal example from my own home: one Christmas, I wanted (and received) an awesome keyboard—which eventually turned into a space-hogging dust magnet and visible sign of my “failure” to relearn to play. Instead of beating myself up for having different priorities, I donated this to a local spot that was SO grateful. And I gained a ton of space and simplified by cleaning routine significantly.

Normalize this instead: Honoring who we are now, not who we think we should be, or idealizing a former version of ourselves.

Final Thoughts

This is YOUR home, your family, your choices. You can challenge and reject the familiar thought patterns that keep you stuck, that hijack your cortisol levels, and disrupt your flow.

Take back control and de-normalize the chaos. I invite you to curate a home you love that’s easy to reset, with intention. Declutter the guilt and shame so that you reimagine a home that supports your actual life, not the anxiety-filled “someday, maybe” life.

This is normally the part where I offer you the chance to book a free discovery call, but as I’m heading out on a planned medical leave, I’ll instead share my Work With Me page to see about how we can stay connected through the holidays.